First, the good…
I am 3 weeks away from meeting our daughter.

My blood pressure yesterday was unbelievable! Now, note that I was laying down on my left side when they took it, but it was 95/65. No I did not type that wrong. I promptly informed them that their blood pressure machine wasn’t working, and we all had a good laugh.

The topic of yesterday’s doctor’s appointment was the State Fair. Boy… we must really be getting boring for our doctor.  Boring=good.

Our pediatric neurosurgeon will not be in town the scheduled day of my delivery, or the weekend following, but he feels that there will be no immediate need for surgery, and at the soonest it would be the next week if needed (yes I’m most definitely counting this under the good category).

Baby turned head down. You are probably wondering why this is good, given I’m having a C-section. I count it good, because she is doing something she is supposed to do (for once) SCORE!

It’s Friday, and we don’t have a ton going on this weekend for the first time all August, giving me time to prepare and time to rest and try to heal from my cold.

Next, the bad…
I feel fat… my maternity clothes fit horribly these days, and the super cute fall stuff in the stores is making me sad, because I want to buy it, but don’t fit, and won’t fit in any of it any time soon. I did buy a shirt on my lunch hour today, for some retail therapy.

I still have a horrible cold and it isn’t one bit better, since I got it on Monday night.

The ultrasound yesterday took a long time, because our baby would not do a limb extension to pass the “tone” part of the test. Also the tech had a hard time measuring the blood vessel in the brain because the baby is so low in my pelvis (see good above). These moments were a bit scary to say the least.

Last, the ugly….
I heard someone today complain about the sex of their baby. Seriously? And here is where I could go on a big rant… but instead I'm just going to say, "YOU SUCK!"   

Some jack hole spilled coffee on my tan colored pants at Starbucks this morning – he spilled his whole coffee on the floor while I was standing putting cream in mine. The really ugly part of this is I have 3 pairs of pants that currently fit, and now one is stained with coffee spots!

Another doctor appointment today.  Baby girl scored another 8 out of 8 on her biophysical profile, and I got to have my favorite ultrasound tech!  I had a blood pressure of 124/84... not too bad, not what I want it to be, but low enough to allow my doctor to remain relatively unconcerned about me for another week.

There really is no change with the baby, but today Dr. P told me that she feels like the remaining growth on the back of this baby's head/neck is really looking more and more like it is an encephalocele.  I write that word now without having to look up its spelling.  I really hate that I know how to spell it, and have visited the first 50 sites that come up if you google it.  Encephalocele is not something I ever wanted to know about!  Dr P's feelings are strong enough to have us meet with a pediatric neurosurgeon in the next couple of weeks - more words I don't want to know about or type.  If this is an encephalocele we are looking at what I'll refer to as "baby brain surgery" within the first couple of weeks/months of our daughter's life.  I spent a couple of months practically begging each night as I pray for the cystic hygroma to resolve, and it did... and revealed this!  Seriously?  I want to shout foul, but as I've seen in the past several months, healing does happen, right?

I wanted to give you some facts I've discovered through multiple sources about encephaloceles.  I'm hoping if anyone googles this and is having the same questions I do this will be helpful.  It will also help you guys to understand better what appears now to be going on with our little girl.  After reading some of these things, I sometimes long for the days of thinking this was a cystic hygroma... words I never thought I'd say

Encephaloceles are a neural tube defect which is basically a sac-like protrusion from a defect in the skull. These protrusions are filled with the membranes that surround the brain cavity and sometimes, brain matter as well.

Encephaloceles affect about 375 babies yearly in the United States.  Lucky me... and I can't seem to win the freaking lottery, but this?

20% of babies who have encephaloceles are stillborn.  Better odds I guess that we were first given.

The prognosis, depends on the type and amount of brain tissue involved, the encephalocele's location, other brain malformations.

Babies with an encephalocele stand a one in five chance at survival. 21% of babies with an encephalocele survive birth. Of those that are born alive, only half will survive.

Babies that have an encephalocele may also have other related issues including: 
-- Microcephaly (small head)
-- Ataxia (uncoordinated movements)
-- A 75% rate of some sort of developmental delay
-- Hydrocephalus
-- Paralysis of the arms and legs
-- Vision problems
-- Seizures
-- Slow growth

So... this appears to be more and more our new reality.

We asked today if our doctor is still thinking Turner Syndrome, and she is not.  The slate has been wiped clean.  The information I was given at my first appointment is no longer valid.  She is not aware of any known cases of Turner or Down syndrome that presented with encephalocele.  More and more we are looking at a very rare genetic defect, or an isolated birth defect, and yet she cannot find any genetic conditions that are standing out because our baby is lacking other dominant traits of each condition.  If you have to cheer for one over the other we've been told to cheer for isolated birth defect (somewhere along the way of this year I lost all naivety).

If the encephalocele can be successful repaired, and no other conditions are present with our baby, then she could live a normal life.

There are still so many what ifs...
What if it is an encephalocele?
What if its not?
What if its something else?

There is only one thing we are certain of... that there remains so much uncertainty, and we probably won't know the answer until sometime after our daughter is born.

I have been told I may be one of the strangest cases of cystic hygroma/encephalocele they have ever seen.  When my daughter and I show up in a medical journal someday, all I want is an autographed copy hanging on my wall.  I figure it will make a for an interesting item for her to bring to show and tell someday.

Guess who is going to be trekking to CVS or Walmart for daily blood pressure checks?  Yep... yours truly!  I'm not about to spend only a couple of weeks with my beloved first trimester, so I guess I better figure out a way to get it down!
Every time I have a doctor's appointment I get myself so worked up.  This morning was no exception.  I was feeling especially anxious given the revealing of the possible encephalocele last week.  I also feel as we get closer the "when will I go to the doctor, and not come home, but go straight to the hospital" feeling.  I have a lot of anxiety surrounding that as a result of my previous pregnancy.

The good news is baby girl passed her biophysical profile today with flying colors.  The ultrasound tech gave her an 8 out of 8.  BPP measure 4 things - amniotic fluid, gross motor movements, fine motor movements (muscle tone), and breathing.  Baby girl did all things perfectly - she of course is like her mama - and even moved from a transverse (cross ways position) to head down during my ultrasound, which caused the tech to take about a 2 minute break, while we all watched her go nuts on the screen!  I also had her growth checked today and while she isn't growing as normally as a "normal" baby would she is growing compared to herself.  Overall I am measuring at about 28 ish weeks, and I'm 29.  Baby girl is about 2-1/2 pounds.

The not so good news... because there ALWAYS has to be some, is that I unfortunately did not fair so well.  I have pre-hypertension.  My first blood pressure was 138/86.  Clinical hypertension is 140/90.  I was told that when they took it again, and if it was that high, they would start running my labs.  Not how I wanted to spend my day.  The second time they took it, I thought happy thoughts of Hawaiian beaches and I was able to get it down to 133/79.  I'm still unhappy with the top number, which is up 18 points from last week, but the bottom number is actually a little lower than last week.  I have to take my blood pressure daily, and call my numbers in tomorrow and Tuesday.  I see the doctor again next Thursday. 

I really, really need a couple more weeks before this starts creeping up.  I didn't have any protein in my urine, so it could just be an isolated incident.  If no preeclampsia signs follow and it stays higher than normal, they would just put me on blood pressure meds, according to the doctor. 

True confession time - I did eat a lot of potato chips, it has been ungodly hot here, AND I haven't walked in over a week.  So now, I need to stop eating potato chips and start walking, right?  The heat is out of my control.  I told the doctor and nurse to STOP stressing me out so much.  Jeez, you'd expect with a pregnancy this stressful, that it might be even higher!