For once I didn't fail a test... Let me repeat that I DID NOT fail a test.

So adding to this list of 50 things losing weight has given me:

#51:  NO Gestational Diabetes this time!

Yep... you read it right, at over 100 pounds lighter than my last pregnancy, I passed - with flying colors according to my doctor - the 3 hour gestational diabetes test yesterday!  With all the doom and gloom around this pregnancy having just this one thing in my back pocket really feels better than even I thought it would.

Studies show that having a BMI over 30 pre-pregnancy, increases your risk of gestational diabetes, and once you've had gestational diabetes your risk of getting type 2 diabetes within 5-10 years is 50-75% at the over 30 BMI, but only 25% at a normal BMI. (source) I've never been one to believe in statistics and odds... because I've hit a .2% of something happening twice now within 4 years... but odds you can actually control with a healthy lifestyle - I'll take those!



The hygroma... the possible Turner or Down's syndrome... the heart defect... the grim statistics... those are with the baby - those were out of my control from the beginning.  Just typing that statement has been a long road towards me accepting that very statement.  But this - this is the one thing I did have control over, and when I failed the 1 hour test last week I was pretty devastated.  It was lucky I actually made that post of the 50 things earlier that day, or else I'm pretty sure I would have never posted it.  I felt like every pound, every small victory was suddently erased and meant nothing.  But now... that has all been redeemed!  I do NOT have gestational diabetes!  No poking my finger 4 times a day... no extra worries for the stress it takes on the baby... and honestly best of all a reduced risk of preeclampsia!  3 cheers for all of those things, especially when I've so desperately needed a win in this pregnancy!

Another week... as of today I'm 25 weeks... 3 more weeks to my next goal of making it to 28 weeks.

Like I said in this post - things are pretty much staying the same right now - and for now I'm really OK with that.  My big thing of the last week was FAILING the 1 hour glucose test for gestational diabetes.  I did have gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with "L", and my understanding is that once you've had it in a pregnancy there is about a 90% chance of getting it in subsequent pregnancies.  This morning, I'll be fasting and spending the first 3 hours of my morning in the hospital lab drinking my special drink (I getting quite accustomed to the deliciousness that is the glucose drink) and getting blood taken 4 times!  I bruise easily when I have blood taken so I figure I should look totally beat up by the time I get out of there tomorrow.  Going the whole morning without eating anything - until probably 11 am - is also not my idea of a good time.  You think... it is no big deal, but that is because you are probably not pregnant right now.  Food is important - it keeps away the sickies and the headaches.  I am not holding out any hope that I will actually pass the 3 hour test.  I guess the most I can say is SURPRISE ME (for once)!

This past weekend I spent quite a bit of time purging boy clothes .  Pregnancy is too difficult for me, and I'm not planning on doing this again.  Since I'm having a girl, then I have no need for boy clothes, and it felt good to clear up some shelves in the basement.  I was able to give a friend some for her new little guy, and I took the rest to a local kids store where I netted negative 50 cents because I bought some really cute girl stuff - squee!!  The rest is going to charity, and I have lots of empty bins just waiting to filled with precious little girl clothes. 

I think I'm finally starting to look pregnant vs. fat.  I'm about 18 pounds above my goal weight and have gained around 26 pounds total since getting pregnant.  I have gained most of my weight so far in the butt and hips.  I don't pop out, but I do get wider.

I could use a huge favor.  I need meal and snack ideas for gestational diabetes.  I have to stick to fairly low carb - especially with breakfast - as hormones are highest in the morning during pregnancy.  I believe I can have 1-2 servings of carbs at breakfast (15-30 grams) and 1 carb per snack - which always has to be mixed with a protein, and lunches and dinners can be 2-3 carbs (30-45 grams).  I'm not much of a low carb person, so this gets tough for me.  If you have ideas, or know of any great websites to visit, please leave me a comment.  Thanks!

Another week... like the little engine that could I'm chugging my way on to 26 weeks.

Yesterday I had what is called a limited ultrasound. It checks on the well being of the baby, but does not check growth. I saw the same ultrasound tech that did my first scan at 19 weeks. I think she was shocked at the well being of the baby despite the circumstances.

When Dr. P came to talk to us initially she had a funny look on her face… and of course my thoughts went to “oh no!”, but instead she sat down and said, “Well... today, everything looks ok.” Five weeks ago those words would have scared me, but now I know those words are good words. When your baby has issues you stop hearing the “the baby is healthy, everything looks good, etc.” type of responses. But when you get “OK” you are happy. Again… I could breathe easily – for a few hours at least.

There is no additional excess fluid, just the little around the heart that has been staying about the same. The heart and kidneys are healthy – except for of course the VSD defect. The cystic hygroma size is unchanged – not bigger, not really smaller. Amniotic fluid and placenta look great! The baby has no signs of anemia. The cord blood flow is actually better than at 19 weeks. It is now normal. When we met with her at 19 weeks she told us that the flow was: fast, stop, fast, stop. A normal flow should be fast, slow, fast, slow, and a really bad scenario is where it is fast, reverse, fast, reverse. This is a positive sign.

She literally told me the first time I saw you I thought things would go downhill – and gestured with her hand in a downward motion, but instead they are just staying like this – and she gestured her hand straight across. Small victories, Small smiles and a bit of relief!

We are still aware that babies with the type of issues our baby seems to have can reverse course… can pull fast ones on doctors still. So I will say we are feeling tentatively positive for now, especially since we’ve reached the magic 24 week mark. There are still no guarantees.

So where do we go from here? Well… new plans for a baby that will certainly need some “help” once outside the womb, but those plans coming from our doctor indicate plans being made for a LIVE baby. A little one that certainly exerts her presence to me on the ingestion of any ice cream, but has finally exerted her stubborn persistence to the doctors as well. So…on July 5th, I will undergo a 60-80 minute MRI, which will actually be on the baby - but since I'm the vessel I'm the lucky person that gets put in the machine! This is to assess the full structure and complexity of the cystic hygroma, and to give the doctors the information needed to remove it from the baby when/if the time comes. We are told it is very unlikely that a hygroma this large will go away at this point, so the planning has begun. It will likely require a series of surgeries as it can sometimes be complicated to remove – depending on how integrated it is with the vascular structure. The MRI will give the doctors the pictures they need to assess this. Sometime after the MRI we will meet with a pediatric surgeon to discuss our options and the course things may take with the surgeries. Also, at birth, they will be able to take a sample of the cord blood to test for any chromosomal abnormalities the baby may have.

Talking about these surgeries and tests… while exciting also reminds us that there is a VERY long road ahead whatever the course this takes. As I have been thinking of this, I know this isn’t a “do it and get it over with” thing. This is very likely going to consume me over the next several years. I hope and pray I have the strength it takes, for all of the surgeries and doctor appointments, for the waiting and the wondering. I’m wondering how I will care for my first born little “L” during this time as he deserves the best of me too. It has me worried about money and work and daycare and all sorts of things that if I think too much about will pretty much drive me crazy.

I also took the gestational diabetes test yesterday and I failed. I sometimes wonder how much more I will have to take. I wonder why I can’t even get one break. I wonder why losing 115 pounds doesn’t seem to have mattered. Good thing I posted this in the morning yesterday, since I certainly felt like a complete failure yesterday afternoon. So now, I have to do the longer test on Wednesday. I will be shocked if I pass. With “L” I was able to control my gestational diabetes with diet alone and didn't require insulin, only 4 times daily blood sugar checks. I guess I should not be surprised I have it, as it repeats in around 90% of pregnancies once you've had it.

My blood pressure and other tests – platelets/hemoglobin - were all good and normal!

My next appointment is in 2 weeks on 6/30

I cannot thank you enough for all of your positive thoughts and prayers and lovely notes of encouragement. Yesterday I felt an amazing sense of calmness and I know it was everyone lifting us up!