This past Saturday morning I was up bright and early.  I got myself ready… got my children ready and ate an English Muffin with peanut butter for fuel.  We drove – all 4 of us – to Lake Como in St. Paul.  I picked up my number and my shirt.  I have to say the shirt color… not a huge fan of – I’ll call it “baby poop” for lack of a better description. 

I was about to run in my first 5k since the fall of 2010.  I was about to celebrate my weight loss accomplishments with a bunch of other runners and walkers. 

It was the Challenge Obesity 5k put on by Charities  Challenge.


I pinned my number on and went back to wait in my car.  It was probably around 40 degrees and pretty chilly out to stand around for another 20 minutes.  I suddenly realized I should have probably worn gloves.  Oh well… too late for that now.  I knew once I started moving I’d quickly warm up.

I found Mariah and Samien who I knew were also participating. 

My biggest mistake was that I did not line myself up appropriately.  I went to the back of the group.  I sort of forgot there were runners and walkers, and also I misjudged my own abilities when it comes to running.  I’m not fast, but apparently I’m faster than I think.  I spent the first 5 minutes trying to get into a pace, and find my spot, as the course was so jumbled with people that were clogging up the small path and going much slower than I wanted to go.  It was definitely frustrating, and I’m pretty sure I could have finished about 2 minutes faster if I got a better start, but my goal on this race was never speed… it was participation and finishing.  I also got my iPod on the wrong playlist, and had some issues trying to switch it over and keep running, but I finally got that solved as well. 


A 5k is 2 laps around Lake Como.  The first lap around the lake was easy.  I had my slow start and just as I was getting into a rhythm I was already around once.  It was the second lap where I started to feel it.  On my last training run before Saturday, I was only up to running 14 minute intervals with 2 minute walks in between.  So by the time I was around the lake once, I had run further than I had in over a year!  I remember a few minutes into my second lap around look back and seeing the pavilion barely behind me… I was disappointed that I wasn’t covering ground quickly enough, and I didn’t think it would be possible for me to not stop and walk soon.


I listened to Dara Maclean’s Free.  It is like my theme song right now.  I hit the back button on the iPod and listened to it again.

It has these words, which I find so incredibly poignant not only to running this race, but my entire journey, my weight loss, my pregancy, my miracle baby, and the day to day struggles we continue to live in the midst of:
"My strength alone will never be enough
But Your arms keep lifting me up

You tell me I've been made free
You give me everything I need to walk in my dreams
You whisper words that free my soul
You're the reason I have hope
You're everything I need and more
You made me
You made me free

I was caged in, then You opened
Every door that held me bound and You gave me the key
No more pressure I can just breathe
The girl I tried so hard to be, has always been me"

I rounded the last bend to the finish line, and several other runners around me started congratulating me and I them. 

I saw my family, and the finish line.

I crossed it! - HECK yeah I'm happy... check out that smile!

Goal #2 accomplished!

I did it!

I walked over to my family.   “L” gave me a huge hug and looked right at me and asked, “Mama?  You winned?” 
I looked at him and with the biggest smile I said, “Yep, I winned!” 
He beamed even brighter, “You did?  You really did?” 
“Yep honey, I really did.” 
He ran over to his daddy yelling, “I can’t believe it, mama winned!” 
I love that boy!

Teaching him to cheer on other runners

Overall I finished in 46^th place and 7^th in my age group of out 20 people.
And best of all... I winned!  In so many ways.

You know what really terrifies me when running?
Dogs and Cars.

Yep... call me neurotic or strange, but I'm terrified of both.

On the "normal route" I've been running there are lots of dogs.  Big dogs, little dogs, barking dogs, short dogs, fat dogs, yippy dogs, wiener dogs.  Full discloure:  I'm really not a "dog person", but despite that fact there is nothing scarier to me than a dog that barks and runs after me while I run by.  And who actually lets their dog run after people running on a road?  Well... apparently about 70% of my neighbors!  Then there's the house that I seriously won't even run by now, even though their dogs are behind a fence.  This fence is just a chain link fence... and not a strong one at that, and both of the dogs have muzzles, and growl and bark, and generally go ballistic as I run by.  I could have sworn that as I ran by on Tuesday I actually saw one foam at the mouth! 

I noticed I have now developed this habit of looking behind me every 15-20 seconds or so, freaked a bit that someone or something or somedog is following me.  Yep, I'm neurotic.

And then, there's cars - fast cars, beat up cars, loud booming stereo cars, sports cars, minivan cars, luxury cars, cars driven by teenagers, cars driven by people texting behind the wheel, cars driven by teenagers texting behind the wheel (shudder).  Cars scare me more than dogs.  People drive really fast... and don't pay attention.

Between watching out for cars and checking behind me every 15-20 seconds on the off chance that a dog is following me, just waiting to pounce and bite the back of my leg.  I am a neurotic, running mess! 

And running... it was supposed to relieve my anxiety from the cares of my everyday stress - I mean not that there is really any stress here (sick kids, bills to pay, deductibles to pay, ear tube surgery pending for Lily, missing work, a daughter that won't gain weight, a body that won't lose weight, commitments every weekend, messy houses, a trip to NC, an unmown lawn, a broken light switch in the bathroom as my makeup is half on... yeah really there is no stress around here at all).

My sanity... questionable.
My determination and my drive... 100% intact!

I am on week 5 of the run a 5k plan, and I am fully committed and doing it.  I missed a few days while I was in North Carolina last week, but I am back strong again.  Tuesday night I ran 2- 14 minute stints.  Tomorrow it will be 2- 15 minute ones.  And on Saturday I will run my first 5k since before I got pregnant with Lily (Sept 2010). 

Last week I considered skipping it, but some friends convinced me that I should do it - that even if I had to walk, it would be fun.  They were right, of course, and yes I'll probably have to stop and walk a couple of times, but I know I can make it.  Initially I didn't like the fact that I would probably have to walk a few times - I am a perfectionist - but I always say progress not perfection, and from no exercise to running a 5k in 5 weeks... that my friends is progress that I am dang proud of! 

My ideal goal?  To finish in under 40 minutes.  What I'll take?  To finish at all with a smile on my face, proud of myself for running again, proud of my body for hanging in there, and proud of my mind for making it happen.

I got this... and on Saturday morning at Lake Como... I shouldn't even have to battle cars or dogs - SCORE!

About a month ago, after complaining to my husband for only the second time the millionth time that I had not been losing weight very quickly, he mentioned that I wasn't exercising.  I of course told him he was right cried and screamed and asked him who he thought I was, super mom?

It wasn't long after that conversation that I promised myself - and sort of declared it to him at the same time - that when daylight saving time came around that I would use the extra daylight in the early evening to run again. 

Unfortunately, it was brought to my attention mid last week that daylight saving time starts that Sunday.  "Seriously that can't be right,"  I actually muttered aloud to myself with a grumpy face.  I somehow had convinced myself when I made the promise to that daylight saving time was actually much farther in the future than it actually was.  And so, last week I started psyching myself up for it.  I started anticipating the pain I knew I would feel the first week, and I started researching races.

I, of course, didn't count on getting knocked down with the stomach flu this past weekend.  It made me want to wimp out, but I'm not going to, even if means I have to start even slower than the plan.  Even if means tomorrow my 1 minutes of running are walking.

So...I come to you today declaring my intention for lacing my running shoes back up for the first time in almost exactly a year.  I can do this.  I will do this. 

I want to feel free again, I want some time just for me, and I want the stress relief that figuratively and literally running away from my house at the start of a run gives.  I have some pretty hefty things going on right now, and the stress of dealing with Lily's day to day doctor appointments and issues is sort of swallowing me up right now.  This is my way to fight back, to combat that, and at the same time make myself healthier and get myself back into my skinner pre pregnancy clothes once again.

I'll be following the same plan I did before to be able to run a 5k in 6 weeks.  And then, I'm planning to run the Charities Challenge Challenge Obesity 5k on April 21st!  So... will you join me in this plan?  Follow this plan and get back to running or start for the first time.  I promise that you'll NEVER regret running, but you will always regret NOT running.  And if you're local... will you run with me on April 21st? 

Maybe I am certifiably insane. Then I guess so be it, but I need to prove something... to myself, and to the universe.  And I need to stand by the promise I made to myself.  I love my children and I am completely blessed, but I need to get myself back.  Every step that I will run will be not only for myself, but will also be for them because I want to be the healthiest, fittest mom around.  The mom that can take on anything.

Yes... I do this for me, but I do this for them.  Because, well frankly, they're worth it and so am I.

Tomorrow... Day 1!

Outside today the weather is deceiving.  You look and its sunny, but I ventured outside to see how my little veggie garden was doing this morning and it was really chilly - like need a Columbia fleece on chilly.
Sometimes I feel like my weight loss journey is that way lately.  I'm supposed to be a role model... I guess.  It's probably why you are reading this right now.  You want to be inspired by my 115 pound weight loss, so that you too, can lose weight.  It is probably no surprise I feel less than inspiring right now.  Maybe it is pregnancy hormones, maybe it is the uncertainty that each day brings around here in the last 4 weeks.  I'm not sure.

The one thing I do know is that I feel like I'm back to my old habits - soothing my hurts with food.  There, I admitted it.  I have been eating whatever I want lately, and since my nausea is 90% gone, its not just because I can't stomach healthy things anymore.  Its because it makes me feel better.  Its because the rest of life really just sucks so much right now, but good food is always good.  You know what I mean, right? 

I've always found good food comforting, but especially now, in the midst of probably the darkest time in my life, I am finding it especially comforting.  To the point where I am scared:

Scared that I won't be able to control this. 
Scared that I'll gain all my weight back.
Scared that I'll wake up one morning and be back to 281 pounds!
Scared that I'll never ever be able to lose my pregnancy weight.

So I eat another donut or muffin, or take a few Red Vines licorice from the bag, have a giant bowl of ice cream, or maybe a handful of chips (pass the dip please), allow myself the fries with lunch instead of choosing fruit.  Temporarily, it makes the scariness of those things, the frightening reality of this pregnancy and of my family's future, and the hurt, depression, and pain go away.  Sure... it only lasts as long as the bowl of ice cream or to the end of the licorice twist, but it is momentary relief - sweet relief (sometimes literally) - enough to get me through to the next day.

I want so bad to be in control. 
I AM NOT. 
I've gained 24 pounds in 23-1/2 weeks of pregnancy!  I feel uninspiring, full of self-loathing, and FAT! 

I want to say, NO MORE EXCUSES!  I will start to control myself, eat healthier, and throw away the licorice today.  That is what I have been about for the past 2 years.  That is the very reason why I lost this weight.  But, I know if I say that, I'll just be lying... to you... to myself.  I don't have any answers right now, and even while I feel this needs to be addressed, I really don't have the strength for any more big battles right now. 

1 year ago today I ran my first 5k ever - after only 7 weeks of training.  It was an amazing morning, shared with amazing people!  This morning, I am missing that feeling of accomplishment, empowerment, and of control in my life.  I am missing last year and the amazing things that happened in it.  I am wanting so bad to go back, to skip this time in my life, and relive 2010 instead.  I hope sometime soon to be tapped on the shoulder and woken up from what seems like an awful nightmare, but each day passes, and that never comes.

As the lyrics from one of my favorite songs by Mandisa says:
There's a time for yes
And a time for no
There's a time to be angry
And a time to let it go
There is a time to run
And a time to face it
There is love to see you
Through all of this
(Mandisa - He is with you)
So... this is certainly a different season in my life - the rules have changed - and sometimes I feel like I'm feeling my way around in the dark.  There was a time to run, and now this is a time to face it.  I know finding comfort in food won't change things.  I guess for now just knowing is enough.

I'm sitting here feeling a little excited and a little sad this afternoon.  In mere hours I will be meeting up with some fellow blogger and healthy living people who have deemed themselves the "Prior Fat Pack" (#priorfatpack on twitter).  We'll be potlucking tonight - which I can still do in my condition - yes, yes, very good at eating food these days.  No one laugh at me tonight, OK, I'm eating for two (yes, yes, lame excuse used).  That's the excited part!

But this group of awesome people is not just getting together to eat - because seriously then, what type of healthy bloggers would we they be.  They are also running in the Challenge Hearts & Minds 5k tomorrow.  This is the little sad part.  I'm not running with them!  I've been really good at doing my walking 3 times a week, but I haven't run since early February, and with the complications in my pregnancy, it is going to be a while until I run again, let alone run a race. 

Last year at this time I was a mere 2 weeks away from my own, first 5k.  I was scared, I was nervous, but I was empowered.  I was running, and I was rocking it.  Now, at the time I'd like to run most... well, maybe not just run, but actually RUN AWAY. I can't.  Boy... how life can change so quickly. 

So... to all of the Prior Fat Pack members, you guys rock!  You are going to do awesome tomorrow, and I can't wait to hear/read all about it.  I will not be running with you, but I have you all in my thoughts, and I'm hoping and praying for some amazing sunshine to come out, and shine down on all of you!

It’s commonly said that it takes 30 days of doing something consistently to create a habit. I always found that interesting, since I actually think that is underestimating what it takes to create a habit.

I started my weight loss journey in October 2008. I lost my first fifty pounds without so much as lifting a finger for exercise. It helped me to concentrate on one thing at a time – one thing I knew I could change – my food. In April of 2009, I knew that to truly change myself I would need to find a way not only to make myself thinner, but also to make myself fitter – so I joined Curves.

Curves was perfect for me - low-impact, minimal time commitment, and fun to do.  I committed to going 3-4 days a week.  For probably the next 6 months, if I made it 2 days a week, that was good. 

Fast forward to this past spring - 2010.  Weight Watchers issued a challenge to walk a 5k.  Walking is GREAT exercise, but I knew that it would not be a challenge for me.  So... I committed to running a 5k, and picked my race - The CDI Back in Shape 5k - June 12, 2010. 

7 weeks away from the race, and after much hemming and hawing, I decided it was time to start training.  I followed the Weight Watchers run a 5k plan (email me for more information if you want information on this plan).  Initially I couldn't run 1 minute, but at the end of 6 weeks I ran a 5k in 32 minutes and 15 seconds!  Now I was going to Curves 3 days a week and running 3-4 days a week.  After the race, I just kept on running, I rarely missed a day.  I eventually left Curves and joined a gym where I could run inside, and rarely now miss a day.  It isn't even a option for me to "skip" anymore. 

That's my long-winded way of saying it took me nearly a year of "practice" to finally make exercise a habit - an integral part of my life.  Back in my earlier Curves days, I remember waking up at 5:20 am to head into Curves, only to roll over and turn my alarm off.  I can honestly say, with the exception of being sick, I haven't done that in months. 

The past 2 weeks have been TOUGH!  I have felt unmotivated to exercise.  I could give you EVERY excuse in the book: 
stomach flu
a cold/sore throat
a sick kid
a sick husband
the holidays are coming
holiday parties
Thanksgiving
Christmas shopping to do
stress at work
3 snow storms, etc. etc.
but I've powered through. 

The turning point of realizing that FINALLY exercise is a habit for me was this morning: 
The temperature = 11 below,
The time = 5:15 am
Outside =dark and snowy
Me = groaning and moaning, saying I don't want to ALL the way to the gym, even while on the treadmill the whole 30 minutes. 
The result, not even once did I consider not going despite all my grumbling! 

So don't give yourself the choice to quit - whatever you are facing.  Keep getting up in the morning and doing it over and over and over again.  When you don't want to, do it anyways.  For me, it took way longer than 30 days to make that habit, but the time spent was well worth it!

It was rewarding to be able to be out there yesterday - to be showing my support for men that have died of this disease, and men that are surviving in spite of it.  The number of people that I've heard of recently that have been touched by prostate cancer alarm me.  It was rewarding to see people banding together to support and remember loved ones.  I was able to share my dad's story with one of the videographers there.  I hope it can inspire someone else.  I was glad to share the day with my brother, husband, and son.  Daddy... I know you couldn't be there in person, but I was glad to share the day with you too!  I hope it made you proud.

It was time!!!   We are off!
The first mile was so easy and amazing!  The time passed so quickly.  I seriously saw Prior Fat Girl - she was running the same race as me!!!  I passed a man that had to be in his 80s!  Seriously... I thought that is just so great, he was rockin' it.  Then we were already at the turn around and headed back.  There's where my first mistake happened - I got a cup of water and tried to drink it resulting in an immediate stomach ache.  Now I felt like I was seriously going to vomit.  My Weight Watchers leader is yelling at me the whole time - you can do it.  You are awesome!  You are not going to vomit!  Then she says "let's go hard to that sign."  I'm thinking "uh no, I just told you I'm going to vomit, how about you go hard to the sign while I vomit, okay?"  Jillian Crazy WWers leader doesn't take no for an answer.  We go hard to the sign.  She tells me my legs are as light as air.  I chuckle and think... nope I'm fatlittlelegs.  We make the last corner, and are on the home stretch.  We "go hard" to another sign, and then the last hill.  Ugh!  We can see the finish line, and I cross, arms in the sky cheering. 
I did it!!! I ran 3.1 miles, and my unofficial time is 32:17!!!  (I realize at this point I am serious violation of an overuse of exclamation points, but I really don't care).  I seriously can't believe that.  I wanted under 40.  I completely obliterated that goal!  This is from someone that 18 months ago weighed 96 pounds more than they do today.  This is from someone that 7 weeks ago didn't have running in their vocabulary. It was amazing!

I feel like I should do one of those "thank you speeches"  I want to thank the academy... But seriously... Thank you crazy Weight Watchers leader (and I mean that in the nicest way of course).  I seriously cannot tell you how much you have been a part of this journey.  I am the luckiest person alive to have you in my life, and I hope that I can make a difference for some other "fat girl" someday like you have for me.  Thank you other lovely ladies of team Weight Watchers.  You guys made it fun.  You guys pushed me to actually do this, and I did, since I didn't want to let anyone down.

Tonight I find myself on the computer looking for more races.  I swore to myself I wouldn't... and here I am. 
This one came up:
James Page Blubber Run
Awesome and hilarious... but I might have a conflict on that date

And then as if divine providence, this one came up:
The Great Prostate Cancer Challenge
And that one I am available for.  See... my dad died from prostate cancer in 2001 - I was only 23 years old.  23 years was not enough time with him.  I've now lived another third of my life without him in it.  There used to be 2 things in life that made me really miss him:
1 - He never got to meet my son
2 - He never got to see my house (He was a building contractor-I'd love to hear the critique.)
and suddenly it struck me tonight... he will never get to see me thin - all the pictures I have of me and him I'm fat in.  That makes me sad.  Dad this next one... its for you!

11 hours... I'm excited!!! I'm nervous!!!  The weather is looking better... at least for the morning which is ALL I care about right now.  I have no clue what to expect.  I'm not sure how well I'll sleep tonight.

Wish me luck!  I'll check in tomorrow, and also try to update Twitter.

2 days... 2 days left until my race.  Actually if you go by hours, its less than 2 days, but who's counting?  I am nervous and excited all in one.

Feeling very let down that this is the weather forecast (via www.kare11.com):
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
It's a little known fact that I have a secret fear of thunderstorms... Please please don't let this wreck it for me.  I can't take the let down at this point.

I made it!!!  My training plan was 6 weeks and I completed it yesterday.  I can't believe it.  I can actually run, from 1 minute runs in the beginning gasping for air to full 20 minutes of running.

Here's my week:
Monday = Memorial Day
Tuesday = 5 minute warm up, run 20 minutes walk 1 minute x 2
Wednesday = Curves
Thursday = 5 minute warm up, Run 17 minutes, walk 1 minute X 2
Friday = Curves
Saturday = 5 minute warm up, Run 20 minutes, walk 1 minute, Run 15 minutes
Sunday = 5 minute warm up, Run 15 minutes, walk 1 minute x 2

On Tuesday was my BIG run...  My total distance was 4 miles.  I think know I'm ready for my race on Saturday.  It starts at 8:00 am CDT.  If you would think of me or say a small prayer for me or something then I'd be forever grateful.  I've already started getting nervous.  Not really because of what I can't do, but because of what I'm about to do.  Right now they are predicting thunderstorms on Saturday - I'm terrified of the things.

Never in a million years did I think 6 weeks ago that I would be able to call myself a runner.  It sends chills down my spine to think what my body can now do.  If I can do it, anyone can do it.  I hope that this can inspire anyone out there that wants to run... regardless of your weight or fitness level.  You can do it.  I'd be happy to send out my full training plan to anyone who emails me directly at srhrss@yahoo.com

For this coming week I plan on Curves on Mon/Wed/Fri and runs on Tuesday and Thursday (probably 20/20 and 15/15 or something like that).  Just kind of status quo.  Saturday is my race, and Sunday I'll rest. 

So that begs the question... What's next?  Honestly I have no clue.  If anyone out there is wiser than me, please shoot me a comment or an email on how you think I should continue my training.  PLEASE!!  I want to continue somehow, but just not sure where to go from here.

Okay... so I've successfully completed week 5 of the 6 week run a 5k training plan put out by Weight Watchers.  I have 2 weeks until my race, and only 1 more official week of training... although I plan to continue at least until the race, and then I'm not sure what's up after that.  More to come on that this week.

I switched to running in the mornings this week, and man has it made all the difference.  If you'll remember, last week I wrote a little poem about running and my hatred for it.  This week I feel much happier about running, and much more empowered.  I didn't feel like I was going to die at all as many times.  I switched up my route, and I think that helped a little as well, not so same old same old.

Here's what I did this week:
Monday = Curves
Tuesday = walk 5 minutes, Run 14 minutes walk 2 minutes x 2, walk 5 minutes = 42 minutes
Wednesday = Curves
Thursday = walk 5 minutes, Run 15 minutes walk 1 minute x 2, walk 5 minutes = 42 minutes
Saturday = walk 5 minutes, Run 18 minutes walk 1 minute x 2, walk 5 minutes = 48 minutes
Sunday = same as Thursday

On Saturday I used Map My Run to determine that I had run 3.45 miles!!!  I did it.  I can do it.  This is real people.  R-E-A-L!  I actually made scones before my run, and decided after it that I really didn't want to eat one for the points, and ate fruit and a Vita Muffin instead.

I also loaded some "new" music on the iPod to help with the running:  Guns and Roses, Blind Melon, Billy Joel, and a little Hallelujah Chorus anyone?  Yep you read that right... of course it is the jazzy version, but it is awesome!  Am I the only person that has the Hallelujah Chorus on their running mix?  Probably, but my voice teacher sister is gonna be so proud of me when she reads that.  Try it... you'll seriously like it.

So that brings me to the Oh No its the Big 2-0 part of my post.  Week 6... the first thing I get to do tomorrow at 5:25 am... the Tuesday after the Memorial Holiday... run 20 minutes straight without stopping.  Oh but that's not all... then I get to run ANOTHER 20 straight minutes without stopping, after walking for only 1 minute.  Scared does not even begin to explain how I am feeling right now.  Paralyzed with fear maybe?  Can I do it???  Somebody please tell me I can.  Stay tuned to find out tomorrow....

3.45 miles... Yep, that's how far I ran yesterday in my second to last day of my 5th week on my 6 week plan to run a 5k (try reading that sentence again).  A 5k is 3.1 miles according to my expert googling, so I guess I'm all set!!!  It took me 42 minutes (but that was 6 minutes of walking - 5 warm up and 1 in between the 18 minute runs).  I was astounded... That is more than a 5k, and it didn't take me an hour.  Maybe I won't be the last one to finish.  There is always hope.


I even battled this:
Yes... A goose attacked hissed at me, while I was running yesterday.  Scared the crap out of me.  Those things are MEAN, and yes they will chase you!

As I was nearing the end of my run yesterday Super Trouper came on my iPod, and I loved the words from this section. It described exactly how I was feeling from my run:

Suddenly I feel all right
(And suddenly it's gonna be)
And it's gonna be so different
When I'm on the stage tonight


Tonight the
Super Trouper lights are gonna find me
Shining like the sun
Smiling, having fun
Feeling like a number one




And there you have it.  I may change my mind about running yet!

What songs inspire you when you are working out? 

Have a nice weekend everyone!

FOUR whole weeks of running completed.  I am a runner!!! HA HA... hardly.  When I started this I had so many people tell me that I would love it, and I would be addicted and would become a runner for life.  Sorry people, but that just ain't happenin'. 

Please hold while I channel Dr. Seuss (Too much reading to 2 year olds will do this to you)
I do not like running, not one little bit
I do not like running I'd rather step in shit

I do not like it with the rain
I do not like it with knee pain
I do not like it on the street
I do not like it at the track meet.

Seriously though... I just don't.  I like how I feel afterwards, but during I feel horrible!  Bad gym flashbacks.  I feel like I won't make it.  But I do and then I feel accomplishment.  I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but that is what is going on mentally with me right now.

Again, I ran 4 days last week, and strength trained on the circuit at Curves 2 days. This week in Minnesota we skipped abruptly in the weather department from spring to summer.  The beginning of the week was upper 70s and today and over the weekend high 80s to 95 degrees today, and super-humid.  Tuesday and Thursday I did my runs around 4:00 pm... that was too hot, and too hard.  Tuesday was my first time running double digits - 3, 10 minute runs with 2 minute walks in between.  2 minutes is not enough time, and 10 minutes is too much running!!! Over the weekend I ran in the mornings around 7:30, and that seemed easier, so maybe it was the temperature/humidty change that had me taking this week so hard.

Here's how my training for last week went (I'm following the Weight Watchers "Walk-It Challenge" Train to Run a 5k plan):
- Monday= Curves
- Tuesday = 5 minutes walking, 10 minutes running/2minutes walking x 3, 5 minutes walking = 46 min
- Wednesday = Curves
- Thursday= same as Tuesday
- Friday = rest
- Saturday = 5 minutes walking, 12minutes running/2minutes walking x 2, 5 minutes walking. = 38 min
- Sunday= same as Saturday


I bought workout clothes over the weekend - a new sports bra, 1 new tank top, and 2 pairs of shorts.  Now that it is hot, it is just impossible to do any workout in pants, even though I don't like being seen in shorts.
This week brings my official second to last week of training.  It looks like my walks will shorten to 1 minute on Thursday and I will be running 18 minutes at a time on Saturday!  Eeek!!  I am scared... but I will make it.  The race is only 2 weeks from Saturday!!!

So I just finished watching Glee. For some reason that show just makes me feel so good inside. I'm not sure what it is about it. Maybe it's the music. Anyways, it was about dreams. I love the line... and now I can't even remember what character said it... "Dreams aren't supposed to be easy." I guess that relates to whatever dreams you have... weight loss... running a 5k perhaps, or even non health/fitness related. It was so timely.

See... I seriously had my hardest run since I started this, this afternoon. WOW! It was honestly horrible. I'm not sure if it was the time/distance, or the warmer weather, but I hated every single minute second of it. All I could think in my head was:


I'm so freaking hot.

This feels horrible.

My legs are going to buckle.


I felt at one point like I was going to cry. OK, this is embarrassing, but so true. I am wimp, people, I know it. I don't care. I cheated (who I don't really know, but this is beside the point) at one point and walked an extra minute, because I just wasn't sure I could do it. And you know what? It sounds cheesy but I thought about people that can't use their legs, or can't use them very well, I thought about some really inspiring people I know that have overcome all sorts of obstacles, and even with those obstacles they still try as hard as they can. And while, it still felt horrible, I was able to find it in me to finish my 3rd 10 minute run and make it home.

This journey I've been on hasn't been easy. Sorry if you were hoping for a better answer. There have been very few "easy" days. Sure... many "good" days, but not very many "easy" ones. I haven't been able to eat extra things and cheat a little and still manage to somehow lose weight. I have had to exercise on top of dieting to lose weight. I am now exercising 6 days a week. I have had to work my butt off for every single pound, and now I'm doing the same thing with every single minute of running.

You know what? That makes it all the more worthwhile in the end:
---
Making it to 100 lbs lost
Being able to run that 5k in 3-1/2 weeks and cross the finish line
Finally making it to my goal
---
will all be sweeter.


The good things in life - the dreams that finally become reality - they are rarely EVER easy.

Can you believe it?  I'm half-way through this training ordeal challenge.  3 weeks down, 3 to go, and alive to write about it.



I ran 4 days last week, and strength trained on the circuit at Curves 2 days.  I cut out my Friday workout there for now; not having any rest days was just a bit too much for me.  Tuesday I had to run in the rain.  Thursday was cold, but at least I missed the rain.  My knee was bothering me both days.  Saturday and Sunday were amazingly gorgeous!  Sunshine and lower 70s, probably about mid/lower 60s when I was running.  Sunday I ran in a local park on the trails while "L" and my hubby played in at the playground.  Once the rain stopped, the knee stopped hurting as well!  I'll take it!  I'm up to running 8 minutes at a time now.

Here's how my training for last week went (I'm following the Weight Watchers "Walk-It Challenge" Train to Run a 5k plan):

• Monday= Curves
• Tuesday = 5 minutes walking, 7 minutes running/2minutes walking x 3, 5 minutes walking = 37 min
• Wednesday = Curves
• Thursday= 5 minutes walking, 7 minutes running/2minutes walking x 3, 5 minutes walking  = 37 min
• Friday = rest
• Saturday = 5 minutes walking, 8 minutes running/2minutes walking x 3, 5 minutes walking. = 40 min
• Sunday= 5 minutes walking, 8minutes running/2 minutes walking x 2, 5 minutes walking.  = 30 min

I downloaded 3 new songs from iTunes to listen to this week, all from recent episodes of Glee!

• Jessie's Girl
• Hope it Gives you Hell
• Physical

It was kind of fun to have new Tunes on the iPod.

This week brings my first double digit run tomorrow - 10 minute runs x 3.. YIKES!! I truly think the first 5 minutes though is mental, once I get past it, then 7 didn't seem longer than 8 or either longer than 5.  So hopefully, 10 doesn't seem longer either.  Also, I'm in need of a better sports bra for running.  If you have any suggestions, please leave me a comment.

Dear Left Knee -

I really need you to hold out for me. You're achy and swollen right now, and I don't like that.  I mean I only ran 7 minutes at a time, 3 times tonight.  You didn't hurt when I was running 5 minutes at a time.   Why now? 

OK, so you have your reasons.  I understand.  I know that I abused you for years by being mega overweight obese.  I'm sorry.  I apologize.  I've been told that 1 pound of weight equals seven pounds of pressure on you.  So I guess 93 ish pounds ago, I was exerted 651 more pounds of force on you than I am now  WOWSA, that sucks for you!  Again, I'm really sorry about that.  I'm trying now though.  I bet it feels so good to be 651 pounds lighter!

Oh yeah, and sorry about the genetics.  I know there, we are pretty much SOL.  I know my dad had a hip replacement and my mom 2 knee replacements and a hip replacement.  I promise I'll control the part I can control, if you can try and deal with the genetics.

Did I mention this whole 5k thing is pretty super important to me?  I have lots to prove.  Let's get some ice and Advil, maybe a smoothie too, and we'll talk again in the morning.

Love you lots, XOXOXO
"Fat Little Legs"

Whew!!! I made it through my second week!  Because of being out of town earlier last week, I did miss 2 workouts at Curves, so ended up exercising 5 days last week - 4 of those running, and 1 at Curves. There was no soreness to battle this week (jumping for joy), even with using the "somewhat hilly" - uh, I'd say really hilly - outdoor walk/run path at my hotel. 


Here's how my training for last week went (I'm following the Weight Watchers "Walk-It Challenge" Train to Run a 5k plan):

• Tuesday = 5 minutes walking, 3 minutes running/3 minutes walking x 4, 5 minutes walking
• Thursday = same
• Saturday = 5 minutes walking, 5 minutes running/3 minutes walking x 3, 5 minutes walking.
• Sunday = 5 minutes walking, 5 minutes running, 3 minutes walking x 2, 5 minutes walking.

Again, I made it through all 4 days, and I ran the suggested amount of time and DIDN'T HAVE TO STOP YAY!

Saturday and Sunday were FREEZING here!  When I ran yesterday it was only 39 degrees out.  I had to dig out gloves!  It's May... I guess Mother Nature did not get the memo. 

On Sunday, it was a treat to have my husband and "L" tag along with me.  I walked with them for the walking portions, and ran ahead and back for my running time.  "L" (2 years old) kept yelling at me on the running portions, "Mommy, come back I need you."  Very cute!

This week we get into 7-8 minute runs.  I am still asking myself... am I crazy?  No need to answer that one.

Whew!!! I did my last training day yesterday (Sunday), flew to New York afterwards, and finally had a day of rest today.  I managed to workout all 7 days of last week.  3 days at Curves and 4 days running.  No shortage of activity points for Weight Watchers, that's for sure.  I made it through my first week running, and although at times I thought I could not actually get any sorer, I am done, and the soreness is finally gone.  I'm feeling strong and empowered!

Here's how my training for last week went (I'm following the Weight Watchers "Walk-It Challenge" Train to Run a 5k plan):

• Tuesday =  5 minutes walking, 1 minute running/1 minute walking x 10, 5 minutes walking
• Thursday = same
• Saturday = 5 minutes walking, 2 minutes running/3 minutes walking x 4, 5 minutes walking.
• Sunday = 5 minutes walking, 2 minutes running, 3 minutes walking x 3, 5 minutes walking.

I made it through all 4 days, and I ran the suggested amount of time and DIDN'T HAVE TO STOP YAY! 

I also learned some unpleasant things about my iPod setup this week: 

• Head phones really suck, and I have these: Beats By Dre.  Apparently my ears are not the right shape.
• Clipping the iPod on is not working, I've been holding it, but then the cord bumps against me and the previously mentioned headphones pull out of my ears.  Curse you large chest!

I guess I need to find a solution to the iPod problems, as the music really helps me focus.  What do you like to use when running?  Has anyone liked an armband?

Oh yeah and I found a very cool site on Saturday:  MapMyRun.  It revealed that I'm walking/running about 2.2 miles already!

I'm on business in New York this week, and will be doing my running plan for tomorrow hopefully on the paths at my hotel.  It is kind of in the "country" and they have a nice 1/3 mile running path.  Beats a treadmill anytime - As long as the weather holds up - its been rainy and hot (upper 80s) and humid!  YUCK!