A few weeks ago a sweet lady from one of the Weight Watchers meeting I have attended in the past wrote me an email.  She knew I was a bit down on myself, because I lost this weight in order to get pregnant, and now I feel like it didn't even matter - I'm still stuck in the nightmare pregnancy - regardless of the 115 pounds that were shed from my body.  Some days I feel like my body is such a failure, and it really hurts. 

She suggested I make a list of 100 positive things that have come out of losing weight, so that I could see that there are tons of other things other than this pregnancy to focus on.  I'm having a horribly hard time getting to 100... so without further delay I've decided to share the list of my first 50.

Have you lost weight?  Then this would be a great idea for you too!  Make your list and comment with it here, or post it on your blog and share a link so I (and anyone else) can read it.

1. Set a positive example for my son
2. Don’t have to worry anymore about being the “fattest mom”
3. Don’t have to worry about my son being ashamed of me for my weight
4. If the 3 year old runs away from me, I can CATCH him!
5. A little one that adores a walk or playing outside more than watching TV... most times!
6. I’ll be around longer to love my family
7. I’m a cuter wife
8. I’ve been hit on WOO HOO!
9. Probably because my wedding ring is way too big
10. So is my watch
11. No more Lane Bryant!
12. Clothes are smaller, so take up less space in closet and suitcase
13. No longer worried about being the embarrassing mom
14. Obesity erased from my medical record
15. Don’t need the extra-large blood pressure cuff
16. Less joint pain
17. No plantar fasciitis
18. Less back pain
19. Low blood pressure
20. Lower blood sugars
21. I’m ovulating
22. Don’t need the extra large gowns at the Dr or hospital
23. Way less colds and flu
24. Weight actually matches driver’s license! OK… maybe not right now, but it did before I got pregnant.
25. I know what is to try hard at something and win
26. I know the amazing feeling to run across a finish line of a race (and have it mean something).
27. I have made some new amazing friends
28. Not scared of public transit
29. Not scared of fitting in airplane seats
30. Not scared of telling someone my weight
31. Spend less money eating out, because we eat healthier and at home now
32. Was featured in the Star Tribune!
33. Happier… most of the time.
34. Don’t feel like people are always staring at me and disgusted by me
35. Can share fun clothes with sisters and friends
36. Much much easier to walk in heels
37. Son has a lower chance of being overweight
38. Husband also lost weight
39, No more granny panties
40. A bungee jumping cord could hold me... if I was so inclined
41. Fresh fruits and veggies are amazing and make my skin clearer
42. I've been told many times I look way younger now.
43. No more looking at picture of myself and feeling disgusting!
44. People I don't even know look at me for inspiration... still strange to me.
45. I can go back to Weight Watchers after pregnancy for free for 12 weeks!
46. Walking up a flight of stairs doesn't leave me sweaty and winded.
47. I have learned to be more assertive to take care of me and my health.
48. Feel more comfortable in skirts and dresses
49. Don't have to buy bras mail-order
50. Losing weight has given me strategies, strength, and stamina to deal with other issues in life!

Now its your turn.

Guess what?  I have a little secret



That wasn't my secret yet... Do you still want me to tell you?
Now no looking at my mommy's fat little legs, okay? I'm gonna hide 'em.










There are a lot of people that have helped me along the way, but without my son and my husband, I would have never made it to today.  Well... I would have, but it would have looked MUCH different.  You two continue to inspire me every single day.  This one These hundred are for you!

First things first - my weigh in from yesterday ..... down 2.4 lbs!
At exactly 94 lbs gone!!! 
Only 1 more pounds to hit 95 - getting a coveted gold Weight Watchers star- I know you're jealous
Only 6 more pounds to hit 100 POUNDS! 

100 POUNDS people, I can't even fathom the depth of that.  I want to be proud, I really really do, but I'm also sad and angry that I let myself get to the point that I need to lose 100+ pounds.  But that's a different story for a different day.  And we will go there... we will, just not today.

Today is all about Scale Abuse.  Lindsay over at Healthy Stride wrote about the over focus on the number on the scale today.  That hit home... just a little bit.  "Hi, my name is Sarah, and I'm a scale abuser."  I am.  Big time!  I weigh myself every day, and sometimes more than once.  I try not to, but I do.  I love seeing the number go down, but boy, does it mess with my head, when it doesn't.  Especially when there is no reason.  And then there are the times it actually goes up.  I'm not even going there.  Yep, I'm an all-out scale user and abuser.  My scale probably groans every time I step on it.  It really isn't healthy to weigh yourself that often.  It starts to mess with you mentally.  You play games with yourself.  NOT GOOD!

So... I have decided to pledge that I will, just for one week - and one week only, not abuse my scale.  I will give it the rest it finally deserves.  I will NOT weigh myself at all, and the next time I weigh will be at my weigh in at Weight Watchers next Thursday at noon. 

This is gonna be scary... really scary.

So I just finished watching Glee. For some reason that show just makes me feel so good inside. I'm not sure what it is about it. Maybe it's the music. Anyways, it was about dreams. I love the line... and now I can't even remember what character said it... "Dreams aren't supposed to be easy." I guess that relates to whatever dreams you have... weight loss... running a 5k perhaps, or even non health/fitness related. It was so timely.

See... I seriously had my hardest run since I started this, this afternoon. WOW! It was honestly horrible. I'm not sure if it was the time/distance, or the warmer weather, but I hated every single minute second of it. All I could think in my head was:


I'm so freaking hot.

This feels horrible.

My legs are going to buckle.


I felt at one point like I was going to cry. OK, this is embarrassing, but so true. I am wimp, people, I know it. I don't care. I cheated (who I don't really know, but this is beside the point) at one point and walked an extra minute, because I just wasn't sure I could do it. And you know what? It sounds cheesy but I thought about people that can't use their legs, or can't use them very well, I thought about some really inspiring people I know that have overcome all sorts of obstacles, and even with those obstacles they still try as hard as they can. And while, it still felt horrible, I was able to find it in me to finish my 3rd 10 minute run and make it home.

This journey I've been on hasn't been easy. Sorry if you were hoping for a better answer. There have been very few "easy" days. Sure... many "good" days, but not very many "easy" ones. I haven't been able to eat extra things and cheat a little and still manage to somehow lose weight. I have had to exercise on top of dieting to lose weight. I am now exercising 6 days a week. I have had to work my butt off for every single pound, and now I'm doing the same thing with every single minute of running.

You know what? That makes it all the more worthwhile in the end:
---
Making it to 100 lbs lost
Being able to run that 5k in 3-1/2 weeks and cross the finish line
Finally making it to my goal
---
will all be sweeter.


The good things in life - the dreams that finally become reality - they are rarely EVER easy.

Dun dun dun da da da da da da Dun dun dun dun da da dun da da...
(imagine if you will the Star Wars music - you know when Darth Vader enters - playing)


That's what I feel in my head every Thursday as I approach the scale to weigh in (abbreviation after this as WI).  I especially felt it today after a 3 day business trip to New York, which included 3 full days of eating out.  I tried to choose wisely, but still ... it is restaurant food, and there are so many unknowns with portion size and calories.  Anyways... back to my march to scale.  I was pleasantly surprised by a loss of 1.4 today.  Down a total of 93.2 lbs!!!  I shouldn't be surprised though, I mean, I really did make good choices, and I exercised last week each day, and while I was gone - running on Tuesday.  I know it would have been more too, had it not been for sitting in an airplane until almost midnight last night and drinking a Bloody Mary and Nachos before getting on that plane.  Thank you water rention.  On to next week.. I'm within a 1 week reach of the 95 lb mark.  WOW!  So so close to 100!  That's a whole 'nother post for a different day.


Now... I'm going to bed because after going to bed after midnight, getting up at 6:30, working today, attending Weight Watchers, AND getting in my run, I'M BEAT!

I eluded in my first post that I was now training to run a 5k.  Yes it is true.  The formerly 280 ish some pounds girl is going to run!!!  I never in a million years thought I would do this.  I mean, I hate running.  No, let me rephrase that - I HATE RUNNING!  It hurts and it makes you sweaty, and ... blah blah blah. 

So, then why do I feel the need to run a 5k?  I mean I could have picked a mile run.  Nope, I picked a 5k? 

1. Prove I can do it.
2. Do something that really fat people can't do to prove to myself that I'm not as fat anymore.
3. Prove to myself I really do hate running.  I mean, what if I really secretly love running.  Who knows?
4. Get a new Weight Watchers charm for my key chain (when you lose the first 10% of your body weight at Weight Watchers, they give you a key chain, then you get charms for things like 25, 50, 75, 100 lbs, running/walking a 5k, etc.).  People you would not believe how important these stupid little things become.
5. Because my Weight Watchers leader volunteered to run with me.  No getting out of it now.  Bless you, you are a fabulous woman!
6. Last and most important - I want to try and catapult my weight loss into the next zone.  I want to get to 100 lbs lost and I want to get to my goal.

#6 is really where I'm focused right now.  I weighed in on Thursday, and I lost 1.4 pounds for a new total of 91.8 lbs lost.  I have only 8.2 lbs to reach 100 lbs total lost, and only 14.6 lbs to my goal weight!!! HOLY COW!  This is real.  I am so close.  I really feel like training for this 5k is my ticket to get there as quickly and as healthily as possible.

I hope to post the plan I'm following soon, and also talk about what I want to do once I reach my goal!  I'll also post a first training week recap tomorrow, after my last session of the week.  I should also take some more recent pics.  The ones I posted on my first post are from about 2-3 months ago. 

Stay tuned... and thanks for visiting!