Its hard to believe that another month is gone.  Onward and forward to May!
I am hoping and praying that this is a month of less sickies for my baby girl, who was on antibiotics for almost the entire month of April!

I'll admit that I'm having a sort of burn out with meal planning right now.  I'm just uninspired, and since formula is costing us almost $200/month right now (Lily can only stomach ready to feed formula and now we have to add extra calories by mixing some powder in too), this week I was really trying to use up some things we have in the freezer and in the cupboards to save money.  Sound familiar to anyone?  My cupboards aren't too packed but the freezer...it's pretty packed.  So this menu is geared towards using what we have on hand.

Another question for you guys.  Would you like to see me add a printable shopping list that goes along with an entire week of menus?  Let me know what you think by leaving me a comment.  Thanks!

Ranch Pork Chops (recipe below), Roasted Fingerling Potatoes, Roasted Asparagus
Hamburgers on the Grill, Caprese Pasta Salad, Sun Chips
Sweet and Spicy Cashew Chicken and Rice
Spaghetti Pie, Cucumber/Tomato/Onion Salad
Naan Bread Pizzas - leftover salads from above
Fish and Chips (Breaded Cod from Costco and Baked Sweet Potato Fries), Peas

OK, I'm not even sure this qualifies as a recipe, because it is so easy!
I needed to use up cream of chicken soup and pork chops - did a Pinterest search and found this.  Honestly I was skeptical that this would be good, but it was delicious!

Crockpot Ranch Pork Chops
Serves 5 @ 4 Points+ each

1 pound of boneless pork loin chops
1 package ranch dressing mix
1 can of healthy request cream of chicken soup

Dump everything into a crockpot and cook on low for 7-8 hours.

This makes into a gravy with the pork chops.  I roasted Yukon gold fingerlings and served alongside, but it would also be great with mashed potatoes!

It's not often that I post on a weekend, but I have all sorts of random thoughts, and while many of these fully deserve their own post, I'm really not sure when life will slow down enough for me to give them each the time they deserve.

Surgery - Lily's ear tube placement surgery went completely as expected.  Very routine and no issues - PRAISE GOD!  She has had really no issues all weekend and is completely 100% recovered!  I so hope this is a start of something new for her, as she has basically been sick every other week since February!

Weigh In - So last week at Weight Watchers I gained 2.2 pounds.  How I gained it?  Not a clue!  I ate within my points and exercised 4 times.  It was so incredibly frustrating.  This week I thought maybe I'd have a large weight loss to correct the injustice of gaining 2.2 pounds.  Nope... not meant to be.  I was down .8.  Post Baby weight loss definitely deserves its own post, but for now I just want to say that this is so much harder than the first time down.  I've heard all sorts of theories... believe me.  I just want to be rewarded for my hard work.  At some point it becomes impossible to continue doing this without some sort of progress.  I don't know what that point is yet though.

Running - Last week my runs were so hard post race.  I'm not sure why, but I could barely make it through 12-15 minutes of running without stopping to walk.  I'm not sure why I even think that is so bad, but after running 36+ minutes straight it just seems so strange.  Given that my weight loss has been so stalled, and has actually gotten worse while running, I'm considered something else in the exercise realm.  I'm just not sure what that is right now.

Blog Redesign - I'm working diligently on a blog redesign right now.  I'm especially excited to have a new custom header for my blog.  I'm hoping to release my new design some time in May.  Watch for it!

This past Saturday morning I was up bright and early.  I got myself ready… got my children ready and ate an English Muffin with peanut butter for fuel.  We drove – all 4 of us – to Lake Como in St. Paul.  I picked up my number and my shirt.  I have to say the shirt color… not a huge fan of – I’ll call it “baby poop” for lack of a better description. 

I was about to run in my first 5k since the fall of 2010.  I was about to celebrate my weight loss accomplishments with a bunch of other runners and walkers. 

It was the Challenge Obesity 5k put on by Charities  Challenge.


I pinned my number on and went back to wait in my car.  It was probably around 40 degrees and pretty chilly out to stand around for another 20 minutes.  I suddenly realized I should have probably worn gloves.  Oh well… too late for that now.  I knew once I started moving I’d quickly warm up.

I found Mariah and Samien who I knew were also participating. 

My biggest mistake was that I did not line myself up appropriately.  I went to the back of the group.  I sort of forgot there were runners and walkers, and also I misjudged my own abilities when it comes to running.  I’m not fast, but apparently I’m faster than I think.  I spent the first 5 minutes trying to get into a pace, and find my spot, as the course was so jumbled with people that were clogging up the small path and going much slower than I wanted to go.  It was definitely frustrating, and I’m pretty sure I could have finished about 2 minutes faster if I got a better start, but my goal on this race was never speed… it was participation and finishing.  I also got my iPod on the wrong playlist, and had some issues trying to switch it over and keep running, but I finally got that solved as well. 


A 5k is 2 laps around Lake Como.  The first lap around the lake was easy.  I had my slow start and just as I was getting into a rhythm I was already around once.  It was the second lap where I started to feel it.  On my last training run before Saturday, I was only up to running 14 minute intervals with 2 minute walks in between.  So by the time I was around the lake once, I had run further than I had in over a year!  I remember a few minutes into my second lap around look back and seeing the pavilion barely behind me… I was disappointed that I wasn’t covering ground quickly enough, and I didn’t think it would be possible for me to not stop and walk soon.


I listened to Dara Maclean’s Free.  It is like my theme song right now.  I hit the back button on the iPod and listened to it again.

It has these words, which I find so incredibly poignant not only to running this race, but my entire journey, my weight loss, my pregancy, my miracle baby, and the day to day struggles we continue to live in the midst of:
"My strength alone will never be enough
But Your arms keep lifting me up

You tell me I've been made free
You give me everything I need to walk in my dreams
You whisper words that free my soul
You're the reason I have hope
You're everything I need and more
You made me
You made me free

I was caged in, then You opened
Every door that held me bound and You gave me the key
No more pressure I can just breathe
The girl I tried so hard to be, has always been me"

I rounded the last bend to the finish line, and several other runners around me started congratulating me and I them. 

I saw my family, and the finish line.

I crossed it! - HECK yeah I'm happy... check out that smile!

Goal #2 accomplished!

I did it!

I walked over to my family.   “L” gave me a huge hug and looked right at me and asked, “Mama?  You winned?” 
I looked at him and with the biggest smile I said, “Yep, I winned!” 
He beamed even brighter, “You did?  You really did?” 
“Yep honey, I really did.” 
He ran over to his daddy yelling, “I can’t believe it, mama winned!” 
I love that boy!

Teaching him to cheer on other runners

Overall I finished in 46^th place and 7^th in my age group of out 20 people.
And best of all... I winned!  In so many ways.

I don't really have any new and fun recipes for you today, but I will post some links to some yummy things instead!

This week is going to be somewhat of a neurotic whirlwind unfortunately.  Last week Lily battled her fourth ear infection in less than 2 months.  She had only been off her previous antibiotic for 4 days!  UGH!  So... we went from pediatrician on Tuesday to ENT on Thursday to pre op appointment this Wednesday, Occupational Therapy this Thursday, and surgery to place tubes in her ears this Friday!  Add in 2 parents that need to actually work through all of that, and that my folks is one scary, stressful week. 

Am I nervous about her surgery?  Its "just" tubes after all.  Ummm... I'm almost embarrassed about saying... HECK YEAH ... given the number of friends I know that have had to send their little ones and babies in for heart surgeries at some really young ages!  Lily isn't even 12 pounds yet... so her size worries me, but this is the right thing to do for her.  Girls with Turner Syndrome often have eustachian tube disfunction, and often need multiple sets of tubes, and we know she isn't hearing well either as she's failed 2 hearing tests in the last month.  We need to get her off this vicious cycle of ear infections and antibiotics.  It isn't doing her stomach any favors, that's for sure!  And so... Friday morning at 8:30 am I will take my baby to the hospital and hand her over to a surgeon, and pray it is all fast and uncomplicated as its supposed to be.  So... you can now see why that our meals for this week will be easy favorites

Sloppy Joes for a Potluck we attended for the Turner Syndrome Soceity over the weekend
Pizza Lasagna - one for me and one for Liz who's hubby is recovering from surgery, Joy the Baker's low-fat Banana Bread (and now you wish you also lived in my neighborhood don't you?)
Jack Daniels Chicken and Baked Fries
Beef and Bean Burritos
Eggs Benedict - cheater style with the powdered hollandaise, which I almost eliminate the butter from to make less "bad", fruit
Skinny Fettucine Alfredo, Salad

Oh, and if you don't follow me on Twitter or Facebook, then you'll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out about my 5k race!

You know what really terrifies me when running?
Dogs and Cars.

Yep... call me neurotic or strange, but I'm terrified of both.

On the "normal route" I've been running there are lots of dogs.  Big dogs, little dogs, barking dogs, short dogs, fat dogs, yippy dogs, wiener dogs.  Full discloure:  I'm really not a "dog person", but despite that fact there is nothing scarier to me than a dog that barks and runs after me while I run by.  And who actually lets their dog run after people running on a road?  Well... apparently about 70% of my neighbors!  Then there's the house that I seriously won't even run by now, even though their dogs are behind a fence.  This fence is just a chain link fence... and not a strong one at that, and both of the dogs have muzzles, and growl and bark, and generally go ballistic as I run by.  I could have sworn that as I ran by on Tuesday I actually saw one foam at the mouth! 

I noticed I have now developed this habit of looking behind me every 15-20 seconds or so, freaked a bit that someone or something or somedog is following me.  Yep, I'm neurotic.

And then, there's cars - fast cars, beat up cars, loud booming stereo cars, sports cars, minivan cars, luxury cars, cars driven by teenagers, cars driven by people texting behind the wheel, cars driven by teenagers texting behind the wheel (shudder).  Cars scare me more than dogs.  People drive really fast... and don't pay attention.

Between watching out for cars and checking behind me every 15-20 seconds on the off chance that a dog is following me, just waiting to pounce and bite the back of my leg.  I am a neurotic, running mess! 

And running... it was supposed to relieve my anxiety from the cares of my everyday stress - I mean not that there is really any stress here (sick kids, bills to pay, deductibles to pay, ear tube surgery pending for Lily, missing work, a daughter that won't gain weight, a body that won't lose weight, commitments every weekend, messy houses, a trip to NC, an unmown lawn, a broken light switch in the bathroom as my makeup is half on... yeah really there is no stress around here at all).

My sanity... questionable.
My determination and my drive... 100% intact!

I am on week 5 of the run a 5k plan, and I am fully committed and doing it.  I missed a few days while I was in North Carolina last week, but I am back strong again.  Tuesday night I ran 2- 14 minute stints.  Tomorrow it will be 2- 15 minute ones.  And on Saturday I will run my first 5k since before I got pregnant with Lily (Sept 2010). 

Last week I considered skipping it, but some friends convinced me that I should do it - that even if I had to walk, it would be fun.  They were right, of course, and yes I'll probably have to stop and walk a couple of times, but I know I can make it.  Initially I didn't like the fact that I would probably have to walk a few times - I am a perfectionist - but I always say progress not perfection, and from no exercise to running a 5k in 5 weeks... that my friends is progress that I am dang proud of! 

My ideal goal?  To finish in under 40 minutes.  What I'll take?  To finish at all with a smile on my face, proud of myself for running again, proud of my body for hanging in there, and proud of my mind for making it happen.

I got this... and on Saturday morning at Lake Como... I shouldn't even have to battle cars or dogs - SCORE!

I can do hard things!

I think I first read about this saying on Ann's blog.

This past week, I LIVED this saying.  I did hard things.  Several times I felt like I needed a Valium, but I survived.

Last Saturday morning I boarded a plane... alone... with a 6 month old baby.  She was amazing on our flights and as we switched planes in Chicago.  Several times I wondered what I was thinking trying to do this trip alone.  It was hard, I won't lie, but I did it.

Lily and I spent Easter with my cousin and her family, and then Monday and Tuesday of last week Lily participated in a Turner Syndrome study at UNC Chapel Hill.  We visited with Dr. Davenport, a pediatric endocrinologist, who is one of the leading researchers on Turner Syndrome, then Lily had a brain MRI, full developmental assessment, and blood taken. It is because of Dr. Davenport's research that girls with TS are starting growth hormone earlier and earlier. Lily and I were honored to meet her.

We are doing this #1 - to be able to meet with Dr. Davenport and gather as much information and get another set of eyes on Lily, and #2 - because it might help other girls with TS in the future, just like some of her previous work is going to help Lily now. We are not doing this because there is a cure, or something will change Lily's syndrome. Lily is missing a chromosome - it is not coming back. There is no cure for Turner Syndrome. It is just management of symptoms and challenges along the way.

During the appointments I found out some information related to Lily's height.  Lily is projected to be 4'11-1/2" if you use Dr. Davenport's formulas using my husband and my heights. I was told that about 90% of girls will fall very close to their projected height based on using the genetics of their parents. Almost 5 ft... that would be great! That is without growth hormone injections too (which a lot of girls with TS take). But... as with anything else with Lily, Lily is not falling in the majority. Right now if she continues to track on her current curve (On the TS growth chart she is only 10th percentile - and she is not on the regular chart), she would only be 4'4" or 4'5" tall! 

My biggest concern for her at that height would be the limiting factors making her life really difficult. She would need special equipment to drive a car, she would need to live in an adapted house to be able to do some of the "regular stuff" that most of us take for granted. She wouldn't be able to shop in a regular store. Because of this Dr. Davenport has recommended that Lily start growth hormone injections early - around age 1.   We will be back at UNC in early Oct, and will consult with Dr. Davenport again to see if anything has changed with her curve.  At that point we will likely begin growth hormone unless something changes dramatically.

After we were done with all the appointments I flew home on Tuesday afternoon. 

Sometimes when I stop and think about this it all seems like a blur.  There are so many times that things present themselves and I stop and think "I can't do this, its too hard!"  I thought that at my 19 week ultrasound.  I thought that as I was preparing to fly to North Carolina and have these appointments, I thought that as I was starting to run for the first time, and as I recently started running again.  I thought it today as Lily was sick for what seemed like the millionth time since starting daycare back in January.

But you know what?  Every single time I made it through.  I can do hard things!  I rock at hard things!  And you know what else?  SO CAN YOU!

What hard things can do you?

The 16th of the month... again... and with it brings another month of sweet, precious, amazing life for my Lily. 

It is hard to believe that it was 7 months ago today that Lily made her miraculous appearance into this world.  It has been an amazing, frightening, frustrating, and always blessed 7 months for sure.  Our tiny princess lights up our life, and keeps life interesting every moment.  Love you baby girl!

My Easter Lily!

And while I know many of you are wondering about things like my weight loss, my trip with Lily to North Carolina, and how my running is going, I promise I have posts coming on all those things this week, but for now, because we all have to eat...what's for dinner this week?  Well... a few weeks ago my mom bought me the new Pioneer Woman cookbook for my birthday, and I've been trying 1-2 recipes a week from it.  If you already know PW, you'll know that she is not known for her... well... let's just called it Weight Watcher's friendliness.  So... I've been adapting the recipes as best as I can to keep them points friendly and healthy, yet tasty for me and my family. 

This past weekend we tried the Peach Whiskey BBQ Chicken - definitely a hit!  I've shared my adapted and more Weight Watcher friendly version of the recipe below.  PWs... uses a chicken legs, and a lot more butter, oil, whiskey, well... just a lot  more of everything!

In addition to the Peach Whiskey BBQ Chicken we are having:

Jack Daniels chicken (Costco) on rolls, Sweet Potato Fries, Salad
Beef and Bean Burritos with Homemade Pico De Gallo
Chili Lime Tortilla crusted Tilapia (find in the frozen section at Costco), rice pilaf, and a veggie
Chicken Ravioli with Butter and Parmesan Cheese, Tomato Salad

Healthier Version of PWs Peach Whiskey BBQ Chicken
4 servings @ 8 Points+ each

4 Bone In Chicken Breasts - remove the skin
1/2 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 Tbsp butter
1/2 onion, chopped
1/3 cup whiskey
1 cup BBQ Sauce (I used Sweet Baby Rays)
1/3 cup of peach preserves (I used E.D. Smiths Peach Mango All fruit jam)
1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup water
2 peaches sliced or a can of peaches drained and rinsed (peaches are not really good right now in MN)

Preheat your oven to 300 degrees.
melt butter and olive oil in a heavy, ovenproof skillet, Brown chicken on all sides over medium high heat, about 5 minutes.  Remove chicken from pan.  Turn pan down to medium and add the onions, and cook about 3 minutes.  Add the whiskey and cook about 3 more minutes to burn off the alcohol.  Take a couple swigs out of the bottle while you are waiting (Shhh... don't tell anybody). 

Add the BBQ sauce, peach preserves, Worcestershire sauce, water and peaches.
Return chicken to the pan, cover with a lid and put in the oven for 1-1/2 hours.

PW serves with mashed potatoes, but we served with rice and some veggies to keep it a little healthier.

What are you doing for Easter?  Egg hunts?  church?  fancy dresses?  ham?

Well... I'm going to North Carolina!  And its not really for Easter - although I am visiting some family while I happen to be there.  I'm actually leaving tomorrow (Saturday) morning with Lily, to travel to North Carolina so that Lily can be a in Turner Syndrome study at UNC Chapel Hill.

I have heard nothing but good about Dr. Davenport and her colleagues.  I am so excited to be able to consult with someone who has studied Turner Syndrome for many, many years.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to gather more information, but also for Lily to possible help other girls with Turner Syndrome in the future - as some of the girls that came before her have done.

Sunday I'll be celebrating Easter with a cousin and family.
Monday and Tuesday will be the appointments for the study and we'll head home Tuesday.

Pray for us as I travel alone with Lily.  She had an ear infection early in the week, and is still really congested from a cold she is getting over.  She is already on antibiotics and we have numbing drops and Tylenol in case her ears bother her.

To the people that will be sitting around us on the airplane.  I am sorry.  You will love my daughter, she is smiley and happy, but also VERY unpredictable.  I promise I will buy you a Bloody Mary if you can just be kind and tolerant!

And I would be remiss if I didn't make mention to Good Friday, the day that Christians around the world remember the death of Jesus.  I believe it is through his death and his Resurrection that we are redeemed

How deep the Father's love for us!  Happy Easter!


How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that left Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Yesterday a friend of mine (thank you) forwarded one of my own posts to me.  She's kept it for over a year.  She said she reads it often.  You see, I have been very down about my lack of weight loss, despite doing the right things:  eating well and exercising a ton (yesterday I ran nearly 3 miles!).  She knows about my struggles, and she knew, that I needed to hear my own words.  WOW!  I read this, and I couldn't believe I wrote this - I guess I am smarter than I think I am!  I read it like I hadn't written it, but like it was advice from a good friend.  I know God will give me what I need, and what I need right now is good friends and people cheering me along, telling me that my weight loss taking its dear time is OK, telling me to not sweat it, telling me I'm doing the right things, and even though I'm not seeing the payoff on the scale it is somehow worth it.  I need people to tell me to KEEP GOING!!!

And so I'm sharing this post with you again today, because I need it, so I'm guessing a few (or maybe all) of you will need it too.  The craziest thing in all of this is that I was quietly pregnant when I wrote this last year... it was in March and  I had yet to find out all of the things that would happen to me.  I had yet to find out that something was wrong with my pregnancy, with my baby girl.  And now in that journey I see the relevance of this as well.  Seriously... chills.

I hope you enjoy

Bread Over Hot Coals - first posted March 7, 2011

Yesterday in church I learned that a broom tree is really just an old name for a juniper shrub... and a juniper shrub is where juniper berries come from... and juniper berries are where gin comes from. Moral of the story? Go to church, you can learn about gin. OK, not quite... but I have you interested right?

The lesson about the broom tree is found in I Kings 19. It is about the prophet Elijah and how he was ready to give up. "He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, LORD,” he said." (I Kings 9:4). I don't know about you, but I can certainly identify with Elijah. There is probably not a month that goes by where I say "I have had enough!" And while I certainly don't ask for my life to be taken. I do often feel ready to give up. I think we all have these "I have had enough" moments!

Its times like these that lead us down the path of self-destruction and self-doubt. It's times like these that we might binge and keep going... first its a couple of days away from the gym, then a week, then a month... time can go so quickly. You have a stressful day, and don't track your food, and a day turns into a week, turns into a month, turns into a year. I've been there... more times than I care to admit. I've had enough, and I've given up! I did it in 2006 and I quickly gained back the 30 pounds I had lost back then plus another 20 more for good measure. Finding myself a good 115 pounds overweight in October of 2008, when I started this current journey.

So what do you do when - not if - you get to this point? Here is what I love, this simple truth: "...Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you. ..." (I Kings 19:7). Yes... you read that right. EAT! When we are weary, and we had enough we are provided with fuel for the journey. I think that fuel is based on what God knows you need most. When you reach a point, any point in life, be it in weight loss or stopping smoking maybe, or maybe your finances are falling down around you, you've just gotten a divorce... and you've had enough, you are provided with the "food" you need to continue your journey. For Elijah .. it is bread over hot coals.

I've been thinking about the "bread over hot coals" for my 2-1/2 year journey. What was I given just when I thought I had had enough... when the journey was too much for me:
- Amazing inspiration from those who had been successful before me.
- A weight watchers leader that cared beyond what I could have expected.
- The inspiration, power, ability, and just enough of a nudge to commit to running a 5k.. and actually doing it!
- Amazing comments both on my blog, and in real life that kept me going. When I felt I was a loser I was told I was an inspiration!
- One look at my 3 year son to know I am not just doing this for myself.
- The first time I realized that my son want to run "just like my mommy" (insert collective awwww here)
- One look at pictures from 3 years ago, and not recognizing the person in them even though it was me!
- A REALLY good weigh in, just when I needed it most!
- Lots of prayers... thanks mom!

This journey (or whatever journey you are currently on) is too much for you, for me, for any of us. Its the hardest thing I've ever done! I needed help. You need help. We need bread over hot coals to keep going.

What's your bread over hot coals?

OK... almost wordless Wednesday, because I have to admit that I have been down in the dumps and stumped about my weight loss - or lack thereof the past couple of weeks, but one glance at this picture, and I am reminded that every single pound I gained was worth it!

Do you Pinterest?
I do.
Initially, I really didn't see what the appeal was, but then as I followed more and more people, I saw amazing things... amazing recipes!  Even though I've been pinning recipes for months, it wasn't until this weekend that I actually tried a recipe that I had pinned.

The results?  O.  M.  G.  Delicious!  The kind of delicious where your husband states that he could eat it that for dinner every single week! 

So...enjoy this recipe that I pinned, and adapted to make Weight Watchers friendly. using less cheese and sour cream and a little more sauce.

And here is what's for dinner this week:
Chicken Enchilada Pasta (via Pinterest and lightened... below) - Strawberry Butter Lettuce Salad
Grilled Mojo Pork Chops with Fruit Salsa, Rice and Beans
BLTs
Tacos and Spanish Rice
Chicken Ravioli (Costco) with Parmesan and Butter, Salad, Garlic Pull Apart Bread

Chicken Enchilada Pasta
Makes 10 servings (about 1.5 cups each) at 8 Points+ each

3 cups of shredded rotisserie chicken (how easy is that?) Costco = $5!
1 Tbsp olive oil
2 minced garlic cloves
1 medium onion, diced
1 pepper diced, I used an orange one
4 oz can of diced green chilies
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp chili powder
1 tsp cumin
2 - 10 oz cans of green enchilada sauce - I used market pantry brand from Target
1 - 10 oz can of red enchilada sauce - again market pantry brand
1 cup of shredded cheddar cheese
1 pound cooked penne pasta

Toppings - all optional and not included in the Points+ value:
Avocado diced
Green Onions
Black Olives
Tomatoes
More Cheese
Sour Cream