It’s my last week in the 20s! Yes, I certainly wish I was that young in age, but I’m talking about baby girl’s gestational age. It has now been 10 weeks since our fateful diagnosis. I am 29 weeks today, and next week I will be in the 30s. Some days I have a hard time believing that I have made it this far.


I am on weekly appointments now, which is seriously exhausting. Those appointments take everything out of me! I have another appointment tomorrow already. Tomorrow I see a different doctor as Dr. P is on hospital rotation this week. I think she’s on every 6 weeks… its possible she could deliver this baby. I know she probably wants to. I think she wants to see exactly what this baby looks like. Technology is amazing, but as we’ve seen, it cannot tell the full story. The womb is still an amazing place for this one to hide what might be going on. I know her scientific mind is probably going crazy over this case. I know she quietly, desperately wishes I had the amnio. And even though I think she is an amazing doctor, I sometimes take satisfaction in showing my absolute content in the fact that I didn’t. I want to think she admires my ability to accept the situation, and not need to know more right now, but maybe quietly she just thinks I’m nuts.

Some days I feel like I should probably get my own medical journal. The hospital where I will eventually deliver is a teaching hospital. I have this scenario that plays in my mind that looks a little bit like an episode of Grey’s Anatomy – where all the doctors are fighting over who gets to follow my case because it is the freaky ones that they all like.

Overall as I’ve started my third trimester, even though I think I still look pretty good, have really no swelling to speak of (hello beautiful foot and ankle bones), and seem to function somewhat normally most days, I feel tired… really, really tired. I’ve also started with a little nausea and heartburn again, and gagging on my toothbrush! I think some of it is just the toll of the overall stress and uncertainty of this pregnancy on my mind, soul, and body.