Raise Your Glass

So tomorrow I get to drink this:

If you haven’t had the pleasure to ingest such a drink before, then let me tell you a little about  this delectable treat… you know orange pop, right? Take a liquid concentrate of that minus the fizz. Yes… it is gross! It is sweet! It is not nice to do this to a still nauseous pregnant woman. Oh yeah and its 300 calories! Ok… that kills the Weight Watcher in me just slightly.

But… I don’t have a choice. I will do this at tomorrow at about 11-1/2 weeks, to test for gestational diabetes, and if when I pass I will do it again between 24-28 weeks, because I had gestational diabetes when I was pregnant with “L” and I'm now at increased risk to have it again.  Gestational diabetes is caused by a reaction of your body to the hormones secreted by the placenta (my interpretation of Web MD). Most people – meaning 96% of the population - manage to secrete enough insulin to combat this… 4% of us can’t, thus resulting in the condition of gestational diabetes. Its basically like type 2 diabetes – you get to follow a limiting diet and take blood sugars 2-4 times a day with a meter. It typically goes away after delivery, but you do have a much increased risk of developing type 2 diabetes in the future.

So why do I have to do this so early this time? Well… because I had it before. Why did I have it before? Because I was fat obese when I was pregnant with my son. I treated my body horribly, and in return in it gave me the favor of this back.

Remember this post? And this one? Those were my hints to you I was pregnant. Go back and read them.  They'll give you context on why I so distrust my body... why I feel doomed to fail at pregnancy.  I’m terrified my body is going to rebel again this pregnancy, and I’m terrified of what that means for me… and my baby.  Last time it meant 27 days in the nicu.  I can't do that again.  I just can't.

I have to remember that past failures do not predict future results. They don’t. That has to be my mantra.  My life has changed. I am healthier and 115 pounds less than 2-1/2 years ago… and I’m about 135 pounds less than I was when I was pregnant with my "L". The rules SHOULD be different this time, I know that deep down… but there is no guarantee.  If you aren't familiar with my pregnancy story with "L" you should probably read this.

So tomorrow morning at 8:30 central time I will raise my glass of orange glucose drink to health and an uneventful pregnancy. Join me if you want – of course with your own drink of choice - and raise your own glass to celebrate the changes you’ve made in your own health, however big or small, this year, month, or even week.  CHEERS!