Bittersweet
March 14, 2011I originally wrote this part of this post on Thursday, March 3rd....
Today was bittersweet... you see, it was a day I have waited for since I began this journey to lose weight back in October of 2008. Getting to this day has meant more to me than reaching 100 pounds, goal, or even lifetime. And yet it is a day I have in many ways dreaded since I began my journey 2-1/2 years ago at the very same time.
See... today I attended my last Weight Watchers meeting! No, I certainly don't think "I'm done", or that I don't need Weight Watchers anymore. But the fact is today I revealed to my CWWL and my whole gang that
I'M PREGNANT!
As I sat there telling them it would be my last meeting (for quite a while) I was shaking. I'm not sure why, but I was watching my dreams come true before my very eyes. I was seeing the fruits of all my HARD work, of every frustrating pound lost, of every step of every mile I ever ran, of every point counted. When I started Weight Watchers in October of 2008, I was doing it because of that one dream. It was the vision I had in front of me every single time I wanted to have an extra drink, or skip my workout, or eat a giant brownie, or forget about tracking a horrible meal! There was not a pound that dropped from my frame that I didn't think about this goal. And now, here I was in the process of living out my ultimate dream... to reach goal, get pregnant naturally, and ultimately have a healthy baby!
As I walked out of my meeting room for the last time until probably the end of this year, I thought I would feel scared and overwhelmed. I would be on my own as far as eating goes... for the first time in 2-1/2 years.... but I didn't. I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment, AND of peace.
As I walked out of my meeting room for the last time until probably the end of this year, I thought I would feel scared and overwhelmed. I would be on my own as far as eating goes... for the first time in 2-1/2 years.... but I didn't. I felt an amazing sense of accomplishment, AND of peace.
This part I wrote today:
It was not an easy secret to keep these past few months, but the whole process around all of my pregnancies has always been tentative at best, so I felt it was best to keep it to myself until I was feeling more certain about it all. At 7 weeks I had an ultrasound that showed a teeny tiny heart beating away... on Friday at nearly 11 weeks, I heard my baby's heartbeat on the Doppler for the first time. It was amazing!
I feel blessed, I feel exhausted... I feel...sick. I have gained 2 pounds. All reasons I have really backed off on the posting lately. Also, I felt conflicted as I couldn't write about what I really wanted to.
I am hoping in the next couple of weeks, as I transition into my second trimester, that I will start to feel a little less sick, and have a little more energy, so I can begin to exercise again, and hopefully spend more timing updating my blog again.
This is it... THIS is the ultimate goal. Everything I've done for the past 2-1/2 years was just training to get to this - like an ultimate marathon... except its not a race... I'm growing a person!
A New Journey. One I've been on before... but never in this way. Never healthy as a normal weight person.
Overwhelming. Scary. Grateful. Exciting.
This is it... THIS is the ultimate goal. Everything I've done for the past 2-1/2 years was just training to get to this - like an ultimate marathon... except its not a race... I'm growing a person!
A New Journey. One I've been on before... but never in this way. Never healthy as a normal weight person.
Overwhelming. Scary. Grateful. Exciting.
21 comments
Big Awesome CONGRATS to you!! THIS is what makes it all worth it! To be in a good health and weight when you grow a person! I'm so excited for you. It's an all new journey now!!!
ReplyDeleteGod bless!
~Margene
I've been reading your blog for a while, but I don't think I've ever left a comment....but I did want to say CONGRATULATIONS! What wonderful news!
ReplyDeleteI am crying tears of joy for you and your family Sarah! What an amazing blessing! I really hope you are able to continue writing and will document this part of your journey! So, so happy for you! Congrats and I sure hope you start feeling better soon! Best wishes for a happy and healthy pregnancy! Yeah!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness oh my goodness - I am SO excited for you! Wow, we have great timing, don't we?!? Congratulations!!
ReplyDeleteOMGYAY!!!! Jumping up and down in excitement for you!!! Congrats!!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! I cannot even begin to tell you what an amazing accomplishment this is. I'm sure you're still at times in shock. You've done it. You've reached this ultimate goal (and what a story to tell your child). Congratulations! Your journey now continues. :)
ReplyDeleteI am so so SO happy for you!! Congratulations, Sarah!!!
ReplyDeleteCONGRATULATIONS!!!! So exciting!!! I look forward to following this new part of your journey. :)
ReplyDeleteBig congrats!!!!!! I've always said it - you are such an inspiration! That is my goal too, and it's AWESOME to see someone else get there, it gives SO much hope! Congrats!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Sarah!!! I can imagine you were shaking with excitement at that meeting. I look forward to reading your blog as this pregnancy progresses. I pray that it may continue to be a healthy pregnancy and you will be blessed with a beautiful baby in 29 weeks :)
ReplyDeleteMelanie
Sooooo excited for you!!! Congratulations!!!! All of your hard work and efforts are paying off!!!! Enjoy every minute!!!!
ReplyDeleteYAY!!! Congrats Sara!! That is amazing, I can't wait to read your journey!!
ReplyDeleteAwesome news! Congratulations! Will be fun to watch your journey.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to you and your family! I wondered if maybe you had a bun in the oven when the time between your posts dwindled -- it would be so hard to come here and blog and not tell us. Yay! I am so happy for you. Can't wait to hear how you manage maintenance and being pregnant, as this is something I worry about for myself.
ReplyDeleteSarah, I'm so happy for you I have tears streaming down my face. I swear it's not hormones, just pure God-given joy, mother to mother!
ReplyDeleteI also look forward to hearing about your progress and how different this pregnancy will be for you.
Blessings to you and your growing family!
Misty
Wow -such exciting news! Congratulations to you and your family!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to following your blog. Louise
Oh, Sarah! Thank you for sharing this incredible gift with us, and congratulations! Take care, you two :)
ReplyDeletewow! CONGRATS!! you give me so much hope! getting pregnant is one of the main reasons why i started this journey. it won't happen "naturally" since i'm gay, but NOT getting pregnant after putting so much money into buying the "juice" would be a HUGE waste! lol. again, congrats! and i hope you keep writing about being in "maintenance" mode while you grow your little human!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone! Love reading all the comments... I can't wait to share this amazing journey with you all. So glad to be able to share here again!
ReplyDeleteCONGRATULATIONS!!!! :-D
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I missed this post. I am SOOOOO happy for you! Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE hearing your thoughts and feedback. Please leave me a comment