Surprise - I won!

I had a nice surprise today - or maybe a scary surprise..

As I checked blogs today I saw my name staring right out in the middle of the page on Priorfatgirl - If you don't already follow Jen, go over - she is amazing, and has lost a lot of weight too!  Anyways... I had entered to win a giveaway for a ticket to the Priorfatgirl - One Breath One Step Get Together this weekend.  Why was my name staring back right at me?  Because I won!  I won a ticket to this weekend's event. 

I cannot tell you how many times I've talked myself out of going to this.  Last October she had one of these same get togethers, and I hemmed and hawed and waited and waited, and then the tickets were sold out.  See... there is something maybe you don't know about me.  I don't like to go places.  Yeah, I'm strange, I said it.  I don't like to go out into social situations with people I don't know.  I feel like people are staring, I feel vulnerable and alone.  I know it has something to do with being fat most of my life.  It also runs in the family (thanks mom - love you!).  I'm trying to get over it.  I am forcing myself to do new things, to meet new people.  I forced myself to enter the giveaway with the thought that I would NEVER win - and now I HAVE to go.  Thanks Jen!  Thanks for helping me come out a little. 

I know the get together will likely be amazing, but I'm freaking out just a little, and that's OK.  I have to tell myself that its OK to freak out a little, to be scared, and to feel a bit socially awkward.  Its OK as long as in the end I go and carry myself and treat myself like I'm worth it!

So on Saturday here I go...
Off to meet people I only read about on the Internet.
Off to meet some people who've likely read about me on the Internet.
Off to a new place in town I've never been before.

It's OK, breathe... this is supposed to be FUN!

AND...If you are here because you clicked over from Priorfatgirl, thanks for visiting!  I've had a record number of hits on my blog today - WOW!  I hope you decide you like it here and come back often.  I hope I can offer you encouragement and hope on your own journey.  Please read my story and first ever blog post so I can bring you up-to-date on my life!  If you are also attending the One Breath One Step Get Together I seriously look forward to meeting you, and I promise, once I actually talk myself into going somewhere new, I REALLY open up... trust me on this one... everyone that knows me would never classify me as quiet!